英语冷笑话adorable（英语冷笑话Top10）
英语冷笑话adorable（英语冷笑话Top10）One student to another: "How are your English lessons coming along?"Top 2一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。’”“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”
Top 1
The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.
"It's all right " said a gentleman "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"
"Ah yes " answered the little girl. "I know the proverb but does the dog know the proverb too?"
一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。’”
“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”
Top 2
One student to another: "How are your English lessons coming along?"
"Fine. I used to be one who couldn't understand the English men and now it's the English men who can't understand me."
一位学生对另一位说：“你的 英语 最近学的怎么样?”
“很好，我过去不懂英国人说话，可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。”
Top 3
An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear went into a shop and asked the shopman:' How much this stuff?'
'Seven dollars Madam it is very cheap.'
The lady said 'It is too much give it to me for fourteen.'
'I did not say seventeen dollars but seven.'
'It is still too much ' replied the old lady 'give it to me for five.'
一位耳聋并且总是嫌东西太贵的老太太走进一家商店。 她问店员：“这东西要多少钱？”
“七美元，太太，这是很便宜的。”
老太太说：“太贵了，十四美元差不多。”
店员忙说：“我没说十七美元，是七美元。”
“还是太贵，”老太太说：“五美元，我就买啦。”
Top 4
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman " he answered.
"You're a good boy " said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
Top 5
My Sister's Fingers
Teacher: Kevin why are you late this time?
Kevin: Please sir I bruised two fingers knocking in a nail at home.
Teacher: I don't see any bandages.
Kevin: Oh they weren't my fingers! I told my little sister to hold the nail.
我妹妹的手指头
老师：凯温，这次你怎么又迟到了?
凯温：对不起，老师，我在家钉钉子，砸坏了两个手指头。
老师：怎么没有扎绷带呀?
凯温：噢，砸的不是我的手指头，我叫小妹妹扶着钉子的。
Top 6
Teacher: "John what is the past participle of the verb to ring?"
John: "What do you think it is sir?"
Teacher: "I don't think I KNOW!"
John: "I don't think I know either sir!"‘
老师：“John，动词ring的过去分词是什么？”。
约翰：“你想它是什么呢”？
老师：“我不用想，我知道！”。
约翰：“我想我不知道”
Top 7
One night just before Valentine's Day a woman had a lovely dream about a beautiful necklace.
When she woke up she told her husband "I just dreamt that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it could mean?"
"You'll find out on Valentine's Day." he said with a knowing smile.
On Valentine's Day the man gave his delighted wife a beautifully wrapped package.
Excitedly she opened it only to find a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams".
情人节前一天，一个女人做了个项链的梦。
当她醒来，她和她丈夫说：“我刚梦到你情人节给了我一根珍珠项链。你说那是什么含义呢？”。
“到情人节那天你就会知道了。”他笑着说。
情人节那天，男人给了他老婆一个礼盒。
她很兴奋地打开，看到的却是一本书，书名是《梦的解析》。
Top 8
An artist was part of an exhibition and he asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings that were currently on display.
"I've got good news and bad news " the owner replied.
"Give me the good news first " the artist demanded.
"The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would he bought all 15 of your paintings."
"That's wonderful!" the artist exclaimed "What could the bad news possibly be?"
With concern the gallery owner replied "The gentleman in question was your doctor."
以为艺术家在一个画廊办了个展览，他问店主是否有人对他参展的画感兴趣。
“我有一个好消息和一个坏消息。”店主回答。
“先告诉我好消息。”画家要求道。
“好消息是一位绅士询问了你的作品，还问它是否会在你死后增。我告诉他会的，然后他买下了你所有的15幅画作。”
“那太棒了！”画家惊叹。“那么什么会是坏消息呢？”
店主想了想之后说：“问那个问题的是你的医生”。
Top 9
All Except the Music
A keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical music so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert. To make the occasion even more memorable she treated everyone to lemonade cake chocs and ices. Just as the party was getting back into their coach she said to little Sally "Have you enjoyed yourself today?"
"Oh yes miss!" said Sally "It was lovely. All except the music that is."
除了音乐
一位热心的年轻教师想让她的学生多了解一点优秀的古典音乐，就安排了一天下午去听音乐会。为了使这次活动能给大家留下更深的印象，她请大家喝柠檬汽水、吃点心、巧克力和冰淇淋。在大家回来上汽车的时候，她问小萨莉：“你今天玩得好吗?”
“噢，好极了，小姐，” 萨莉说，“除了音乐其它都很好。”
Top 10
A little rabbit is happily running through the forest when he stumbles upon a giraffe rolling a joint. The rabbit looks at her and says "Giraffe my friend why do you do this? Come with me running through the forest you'll feel so much better!" The giraffe looks at him looks at the joint tosses it and goes off running with the rabbit.
有一只小白兔快乐地奔跑在森林中 在路上它碰到一只正在卷大麻的长颈鹿。小白兔看着长颈鹿说道：“长颈鹿我的朋友，你为什么要做这种事呢？和我一起在森林中奔跑吧，你会感觉心情舒畅很多！”长颈鹿看看小白兔，又看看手里的大麻烟，把大麻烟向身后一扔，跟着小白兔在森林中奔跑。
Then they come across an elephant doing coke so the rabbit again says "Elephant my friend why do you do this? Think about your health. Come running with us through the pretty forest you'll feel so good!" The elephant looks at them looks at his coke then tosses it and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe.
后来它们遇到一只正准备吸食可卡因的大象，小白兔又对大象说：“大象我的朋友，你为什么要做这种事呢？想想自己的健康啊。跟我们一起在这片美丽的森林中奔跑吧，你会感觉好很多！”大象看看它们，又看看手中的可卡因，于是把可卡因向身后一扔，跟着小白兔和长颈鹿一起奔跑。
The three animals then come across a lion about to shoot up and the rabbit again says "Lion my friend why do you do this? Think about your health! Come running with us through the sunny forest you will feel so good!"
后来它们遇到一只正准备注射毒品的狮子，小白兔又对狮子说：“狮子我的朋友，你为什么要做这种事呢？想想自己的健康啊！跟我们一起在这片阳光明媚的森林中奔跑吧，你会感觉如此美好！”
The lion looks at him puts down his needle and starts to beat the hell out of the rabbit. As the giraffe and elephant watch in horror they look at him and ask "Lion why did you do this? He was merely trying to help us all!"
狮子看看小白兔，放下手中的针筒，把小白兔猛揍了一顿。长颈鹿和大象被吓坏了，它们看着狮子问它：“狮子，你为什么要打小白兔呢？它只是想要帮助我们大家啊！”
The lion answers "He makes me run around the forest like an idiot each time he's on ecstasy!"
狮子回答：“这家伙每次嗑了摇头丸就拉着我像白痴一样在森林里乱跑！”
