10个笑到抽筋的英语笑话（10个超有趣的英语笑话）

10个笑到抽筋的英语笑话（10个超有趣的英语笑话）"Yes I put a cup of ice cream on it.""Yours?Can you prove it?"妻子:你看这张报纸 据统计 死于肝癌的人80%都是喝酒的.丈夫:那有什么?据我调查 死于肝癌的人100%都吃饭的.3. "Excuse me but the seat you've taken is mine."

1. Jack feell off his bicycle and got hurt. A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms. Jack finished them and gave them back."Anything else?" The nurse asked. "Yes "Jack thinks for a while and said "I'm a bachelor."

杰克骑车摔伤 得住院治疗.一位年轻美貌的护士拿着表格让填.仞杰克填好递上表格"还有什么漏填的?"护士问. "有!"杰克想了想说 "我是个单身汉."

2. Wife:You see.According to te statistics on thepaper 80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcohol.

Husband:It's okey. To my investigation all Thespeopleeat meals.

妻子:你看这张报纸 据统计 死于肝癌的人80%都是喝酒的.

丈夫:那有什么?据我调查 死于肝癌的人100%都吃饭的.

3. "Excuse me but the seat you've taken is mine."

"Yours?Can you prove it?"

"Yes I put a cup of ice cream on it."

"请原谅 你占了我的位置."

"你的位置?你能征明这点吗?"

"能 我在位置上放了杯冰激凌."

4. One day Eve asked Adam "Doyou really love me?"

Adam said helplessly "Do I have any other choice?"

一天 夏娃问亚当:"你当真爱我吗?"

亚当无可奈何地回答:"我还有的选择吗?"

5. Always Thirsty 总感到口渴

"I had an operation " said a man to his friend "and the doctor left a sponge in me."

"That"s terrible!" said the friend. "Got any pain?"

"No but I am always thirsty!"

一个男人对他的朋友说：“我动了一次手术，手术后医生把一块海绵忘在我的身体里了。”

“真是太糟糕了!”朋友说道：“你觉得疼吗?”

“不疼，可是我总感到口渴。”

6. A Useful Way 一个有效的方法

Father: Jack why do you drink so much water?

Jack: I have just had an apple Dad.

Father: What"s that got to do with it?

Jack: I forgot to wash the apple.

爸爸：杰克，你干嘛喝这么多水呀?

杰克：我刚才吃了个苹果，爸爸。

爸爸：可是这跟喝水有什么关系呢?

杰克：我忘了洗苹果呀。

7. A Present 凯特的礼物

Kate: Mom do you know what I"m going to give you for your birthday?

Mom: No Honey what?

Kate: A nice teapot.

Mom: But I"ve got a nice teapot.

Kate: No you haven"t. I"ve just dropped it.

凯特：妈妈，你知道我要给你一件什么生日礼物吗?

妈妈：不知道，宝贝，是什么呀?

凯特：一把漂亮的茶壶。

妈妈：可是我已经有一把漂亮的茶壶了呀。

凯特：不，你没有了。我刚刚把它给摔了。

8. The Doctor Knows Better 医生懂得多

A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital.

His wife who was standing up by his bed said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill."

"I am afraid that he is dead." said the doctor.

Hearing this the man moved his head and said: "I"m not dead. I"m still alive."

"Be quiet " said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"

一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院。他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说：“我想他伤得很厉害。”

医生说：“恐怕他已经死了。”

听到医生的话，这个男人转动着头说：“我没死，我还活着。”

妻子说：“安静，医生比你懂得多。”

9. Waste or Save? 浪费还是节约

Father: Oh Jack you have slept away the whole morning. Don"t you know you are wasting time?

Jack: Yes Dad. But I"ve saved you a meal haven" I?

父亲：噢，杰克，你又睡了一上午。难道你不知道你这是在浪费时间吗?

杰克：我知道，爸爸。可我还给您节省了一顿饭呢，是不是?

10. Why Is He Howling 他为什么喊

Dentist: Please stop howling. I haven"t even touched your tooth yet.

Patient: I know but you are standing on my foot!

牙医：请你不要再喊了!我还没碰你的牙呢。

病人：我知道，可是你正踩着我的脚呀!