网恋奔现真相大白(当代青年网恋观察)
网恋奔现真相大白(当代青年网恋观察)I started a new job about a year ago and was surprised to discover that my boss the editor-in-chief was a pretty young kinda hot dude - in a hot dad way. But we never really interact in person since he's not my direct boss.03 看过你的历史,我们才有未来那时我才知道油管账号是直接跟我的邮箱绑定的。所以我的邮箱头像就出现在了视频底下的“点赞区”,显示出我在偷偷看他的视频。我吓坏了,疯狂找:“撤回,有没有撤回键!”So then I clicked "thumbs down" thinking that would undo it somehow but no o
02 糟糕,被发现了
Once I had a crush on a guy. From the internet. And I was secretly watching a YouTube video that he had posted. And my finger slipped and I accidentally clicked "like" or "thumbs up" or whatever.
有次我对一个网撩的男生有好感。然后我就在网上看他发的视频,结果一不小心手滑,按了赞!
And this was the first time I realized that YouTube was directly horrifyingly linked to my Gmail. So there was my face next to a thumbs up of this video that I was secretly creepily watching. And I freaked out. And was like "Undo! Undo! Undo!!!
那时我才知道油管账号是直接跟我的邮箱绑定的。所以我的邮箱头像就出现在了视频底下的“点赞区”,显示出我在偷偷看他的视频。我吓坏了,疯狂找:“撤回,有没有撤回键!”
So then I clicked "thumbs down" thinking that would undo it somehow but no obviously that just meant that now my face was on the YouTube video next to a thumbs down icon and it was very embarrassing and then when we met in real life I pretended to barely know who he was even though obviously I'd watched his video.
结果我就点了“踩”……想着应该可以抵消那个赞。但是并没有,我的头像只是从“按赞区”移动到了“按踩区”,尴尬。之后我和他奔现的时候,我都装作不太了解他的样子,哪怕很显然我看过他的视频。
03 看过你的历史,我们才有未来
I started a new job about a year ago and was surprised to discover that my boss the editor-in-chief was a pretty young kinda hot dude - in a hot dad way. But we never really interact in person since he's not my direct boss.
一年前我换了份新工作,很惊喜地发现我的上司——也就是主编——还是蛮年轻的帅大叔。但其实我们并没有太多接触,因为他并不是我的直属上司。
But in my first week he started following me on Twitter which I was really flattered by because he only follows a few hundred people on Twitter. Then I wrote something and he tweeted about it so I faved that.
但工作的第一周他就在推特上关注了我,我有点受宠若惊,因为他也就关注了几百个人而已。我发过的推文也被他转发过,然后我就给他的转发点了赞。
Then I realized I was favoriting quite a few of his tweets and then things got weird where I was like faving his tweets on Saturdays or going back to old tweets and faving those. I think I thought I was being subtle and saying "oh heyyyyy " except it wasn't subtle at all.
后来我发现我给他的很多条推文都点过赞。之后就越来越诡异了,周六休息日给他点赞也就算了,我还翻到他的历史推文里按赞。我内心想的是,这是很隐晦的表示“诶,我对你有意思”。但其实这么做简直昭然若揭啊。
04 朋友的朋友才是中奖的那个
In 2009 I befriended a guy whom one of my other friends had gone out with a few times. Once he accepted my Facebook friend request I naturally went to look at all of his recent photos. In his photos was another guy that caught my attention so I went and looked at his profile and lurked behind all of his photos. "What a babe " I thought. I was immediately obsessed.
2009年我加了一个男生,我有个朋友跟他出去玩儿过几次。他刚一接受我的脸书好友申请,我就自觉跑到他的相册里翻看。照片里有个男生吸引了我的注意力,然后我就点进去看他的主页,鬼鬼祟祟地翻看他的照片。“好帅啊”,我心想。我感觉我恋爱了。
I decided to take my virtual stalking offline by messaging our mutual friend and not-so-subtly asking for him to hook us up. Go big or go home right?
我决定到线下去追这个男生。然后我就给我俩共同的朋友发了消息,明目张胆地叫他给我俩牵线搭桥。要么就玩大的,要么就别玩,不是吗?
To make a long story short yadda yadda yadda Billy and I got married in December 2013!
总而言之,啦啦啦哈哈哈哈,我和比利在2013年12月完婚啦!
网恋都要奔现,只是时机早晚。
不过很多人都卡在“要不要奔现”的问题上,磨磨蹭蹭,时间一长,最后把彼此晾成了联系人里只在过年会“诈尸”的点赞之交。
There is always going to be a divide however between our public persona(e)—whether presented via Twitter or Facebook—and who we are in the physical realm.
我们用来社交的公共人格——无论是推特还是脸书上的形象——和现实中的我们肯定是有区别的。
On social media you get all the fun interesting parts of someone without having to deal with the things that are difficult or dull about them. They are not presenting to you for the most part—or at least in any way that actually affects you—their idiosyncrasies emotional unavailability or the way they chew with their mouth open.
在社媒上,你只会看到别人生活中有趣好玩的部分,不会看到他们生活中的困难和乏味。绝大多数时候,至少为了不影响到你,他们不会向你展示他们的小癖好、不愿传递的情感、以及大声吧唧嘴的样子。